Dearest Readers,
It has come to the attention of your devoted chronicler that the most sought-after gem of the season is none other than the exquisitely eloquent Miss Bejeweled, a dilute calico of unparalleled elegance and grace. This young debutante has stepped onto the social scene with a poise that would make even the Queen envious.
Miss Bejeweled, a vision of feline finesse, has made it known that her manners are as impeccable as her grooming. She treats one’s possessions with the utmost respect, artfully navigating around such modern contrivances as keyboards with a dancer’s grace. Her litterbox habits, I am told, are without fault, a testament to her aristocratic upbringing.
She is heroically protective of kittens and in her interactions with fellow adult felines, Miss Bejeweled approaches with a friendly demeanor, a true lady in her attempts to socialize. However, should she encounter hisses and growls, she is not one to retreat into the shadows. Like a true aristocrat defending her honor, Miss Bejeweled is not shy about returning such rude advances in kind. This display of spirited defense only adds to her complex and enchanting character.
Speaking of aristocracy, Miss Bejeweled has strong opinions and shuns the plebeian practice of drinking from mere bowls. Her refined palate demands nothing less than the gentle cascade of a water fountain, a preference that speaks volumes of her noble bearing.
Yet, do not be misled by her regal demeanor. Miss Bejeweled is the epitome of cordiality. She is calm in crowds and greets her human acquaintances with a politeness that warms the heart, graciously accepting the affections of being picked up, petted, and even kissed on the cheek.
However, let it not be said that she is easily won over. This paragon of feline virtue does not readily bare her heart. Like a lady of the court adept in the art of fan language, she takes her time to assess her suitors. And she is no shrinking violet when it comes to asserting her boundaries. A rude rough hand, unwelcome in its approach, shall find itself promptly and decisively rebuffed. This act, far from detracting from her charm, only adds to the allure of her sterling character.
But, oh! When she deigns to bestow her favor, she will tenderly crawl into one’s arms to be held, purring and cuddling, a true lady in her expressions of affection.
Therefore, esteemed readers, should you find yourself desiring the company of a feline companion of the highest order, consider extending an invitation to Miss Bejeweled. Who among you will be fortunate enough to win the heart of this season’s most dazzling diamond? If interested, you may leave a calling card below for Miss Bejeweled in the comments or contact Stephanie Dray.
Yours with the latest tittle-tattle,
Lady Whistledown