When I decided to write a mainstream historical fiction book about Thomas Jefferson’s daughter Patsy, it was in part, because of my continued frustration with people in our country who refuse to believe, even with DNA evidence, that Thomas Jefferson initiated sex with his slave, Sally Hemings, most probably when she was fifteen.
It has been my ambition, from start to finish with this project, to shed light on the devastation of slavery–a devastation that became more and more evident as we researched. And to make clear that the scars of that devastation are still evident today in our politics and our culture.
Racial justice is something that I feel deeply about. Something that I think deeply about.
But apparently not deeply enough.
Because after editing this book, I made a joke–which I won’t repeat in the interest of not offering new offense–thinking I was mocking our culture’s casual acceptance of women’s lack of consent in sexual circumstances.
Instead, I hurt people and sent a message that goes against everything that I’m about. It undercut what I’m trying to accomplish with my work. And with my life.
I’m a writer; it’s my job to pay attention to what my words are actually communicating. And I’m bitterly disappointed in myself for communicating in any way that would trivialize the very matters I feel most passionately about.
To that end, the post has been removed. I would like to extend my heartfelt apology. And I thank those of you who made me take a hard look at this.
I was wrong.
It will not happen again.
Way to stand up and take responsibility. I applaud you!! B
I am interested why you tweeted this apology to some (Mary Robinette, for example) with here’s my link to my blog (and my apology), but then to others, like Jenny Trout and a few others you added words “if interested.”
This shows me that you are in no way apologetic at all. To me, that speaks volumes, and it reeks of “I am Only sorry that I was called out” in the first place. I have never read your books, but I sure as hell won’t now. I avoid BBAs. #YOURAPOLGOYNOTGOODENOUGH
I did not want to presume that those people cared if I was sorry, because some people said they did not. It was an attempt to be respectful. I will not be tweeting it to any specific people again for that same reason.
I have had the pleasure to follow you now for a few years and I have to say your one of the most lovely people anyone could hope to know. Your witty and deep and I trust your sorry about this.
Sometimes we joke to keep from crying and sometimes dealing that way can go very wrong. I trust your intentions though.
Remember that some people will always choose to see the worst and you can never please them. Don’t write for them, they are not listening!
Thank you for being so open with us.
Sometimes we joke to keep from crying?
The joke was racist.
Kimberly, YOU ARE not making sense with YOUR argument. The furor has nothing do with this author’s books not appealing to all. But it does have everything to do with the fact that SD made inappropriate jokes on her FB page about mashing 50S with Thomas Jefferson and his SLAVE, Sarah “Sally” Hemings, and finding it “hilarious.” Fuck! I am not even American, and I was outraged when I saw SD’s posts.
SD, I still don’t buy your reply: “It was an attempt.” Utter fail, still, in my mind, which renders null and void your apology on your blog.
Is “initiated sex with” less squicky to think about than “rape”?
Because he raped his slave.
He RAPED HER.
Thank you.
Lovely. And this too will pass.
And Jennifer, even more accurately, he raped an enslaved person.
This.
You can’t initiate sex with a 15 year old. That’s rape. Saying “let me introduce you to shackles” to your slave is offensive. How could you try to spin it about bdsm acceptance?
Either way, you apologized which is brave because not everyone admits to making a mistake.
But how do you feel deeply about social issues when your Egypstian girls are clearly white? Egyptians are African. Even if Cleopatra had sex with an albino, her daughters would still not look like the white washed versions on your covers… but that’s fantasy and neither here nor there. It just caught my eye after touring your site.
You should check your history facts before citing something as proof of something else. Cleopatra’s daughter was neither Egyptian nor African. The Ptolemies, Cleopatra’s family, were Macedonian Greeks, not native Egyptians. Her father was Mark Antony who was Italian. So, the “girl” you refer to was half-Greek and half-Italian– 0 percent Egyptian.
Sorry, lady. I saw the screenshot of your Facebook post so the above just rings completely false. Seriously – you shouldn’t have bothered. Certain blogs have laid you out to dry and I’m glad (and I encourage everyone to hit Google and check out what this author wrote – even though she deleted it in shame – and see if her apology seems sincere).
I’ve never read anything by you and never, ever will. Why, why, why would you think “Fifty Shades” and “12 Years a Slave” would make a “hilarious” book?
You are writing an apology, you are responding to people on Twitter–this is good to do. But please don’t let yourself off the hook for this too fast. It is one thing to “care about” racial justice and it is another to act on it. I mean even to start with, you have a book about ancient Egyptians with a blonde woman on the cover. And what exactly is the subject of a book on “the devastation of slavery?” If I were you I’d try to figure out why you thought you would take this subject matter on in the first place.
Oh Fuck! SD’s co-author/cohort/partner-in- crime Laura Kaye’s apology is even worse. When an apology is followed by a lengthy essay, it is no apology at all. And no, I do not believe for a minute that these two were not aware of the VILE 19 page file (I loath to call it a book) out there on this VILE topic that these two authors joked about. AGAIN, YOU SD JOKED about it! But now claim ignorance. Shame on both you and LK. Issue an apology, without all the “poor me” attitude. If anything, Laura Kaye should be more ashamed, for she claims, on her blog, to be a rape survivor, yet is still justifying her and SD’s stance that “their words were misconstrued.” Spare me from suffering fools.
I rarely comment on blogs (fb yes, websites no) but I have too. For those of you who have stated you aren’t fans, why the hell are you wasting your time lambasting someone you aren’t a “fan” of. Have never read Stephanies books and is obvious you have no idea who she is.
Frankly I am happy you are all so perfect that you have never put your foot in your mouth. And what is more that you are mind readers and know whether this apology is sincere or not.
I am shocked and appalled at how many people lately seem to lambast thise who have the courage and the wisdom to apologize.
People say dumb stupid things everyday. It is called being human. Few people have the ability to apologize. Stephanie has. Believe her. Don’t. That is your perrogative but to come on here and attack her and say you don’t believe her, and call her names, you lower yourself down to the comment she made.
People never grow and never learn if we do not let them, and it saddens me we live in a world and s culture where mistakes are not tolerated anymore. Instead of casting stones how about turning hateful words around and educating especially when it is someone you don’t even know.
Stephanie, I have been a fan of yours for years. I have waited anxiously for your books, and they have been a great source to loose myself during tough times. I follow you on FB and even though it is social media, I know what kind of person you are. You are passionate, kind, fun, willing to do so much for your friends, love what you do, and love your friends and family. You have a huge heart and despite the foot and mouth moment (who hasn’t?) are an incredibly compassionate person. Stay strong and know this to shall pass. Haters will hate. You are not your mistakes. Sending so much love to you <3
we all say something dumb every once in awhile. but joking about rape especially the rape of a slave is not saying something dumb. its saying something hurtful. it amazes me how no one jokes about the Holocaust but slavery can always be the go-to joke. its not funny to joke about people in shackles because it’s still going on today. its not funny to joke about rape especially of slaves because there are girls 8 years old and younger were being raped every day as sex slaves. rape itself is not funny and should never be joked about doesn’t matter what race you are it’s not funny. the fact that you said that this was something dumb she said goes to show that you don’t get the seriousness of this so called joke.
@ Kate, you sound like the lunatic E.L. James and her equally crazy fans. Stephanie Dray’s books, whether I have read them or not/liked them or not, has NOTHING to do with why I commented, but EVERYHTING do with the fact that Stephanie as a WW posted racial comments on her FB page, and thought it hilarious. Worse, she and co-author, Laura Kaye tried to deny it.
Her personal statements do little to warm to the idea of spending my money on her as an author, should I ever want to delve into the subgenre in which SD writes.
Yes, we are human, and yes, we all make mistakes, but when you are in the public eye, you are open to criticism. But hearing/reading “I am sorry…but…. here’s my list of reason why I am an idiot” just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Trying to justify an apology is no apology at all.
I am honestly curious as to whether you believe that Jefferson “initiated” sex with Sally Hemings. The 13-15 year old enslaved human being who was also the aunt of his children. Which would mean her father was who? Her sister was who?
I don’t believe you are brave for this lackluster apology. Brave would be admitting you fucked up epically. That you *thought* it was funny because you did. You proved that by stating Jefferson “initiated” sex with Sally Hemings. Unless you truly believe that. If so, I honestly don’t know which is worse.
That you can’t bring yourself to say that the same man who wrote, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…” raped his dead wife’s teenage sister.
Or that you possibly believe that it was possible for an enslaved woman to have a “relationship” with a man who owned her. The same way he did a cow, a horse or dog. If you are considered chattel can you say, “No.”? Do you have the right of refusal in *any* circumstance?
“Few people have the ability to apologize.”
Everyone HAS the ability to say “I’m sorry.” How it said is a different matter.
I view SD and LK’s apologies as the equivalent of an abuser saying to a victim. “I’m sorry I yelled/screamed/berated/hit/issued racial slurs/raped BUT you made me mad.”
There is still no full accountability that I am seeing from either author.
Although I will credit SD for keeping open her comment section. Laura Kaye seems to have shut down comments on her blog site.
There was a series of articles a couple years ago in the New York Times about Michelle Obama\’s ancestry. It turns out her family tree can be traced to a slave woman named Melvinia who was raped by her white master\’s son when she was a 15 year old field slave and had a son by him whose descendents include the First Lady. I say \”raped\” because that is what happened, just like Sally Hemmings was raped by her slave owner Jefferson at the same age of 15. Ask yourself this, what kind of \”consent\” can a 15 year old slave girl give that has any meaning to a man who legally OWNS her, who literally has the power of life and death over her? Your answer should be none. We need to stop parsing these words and look at it in the face. And \”jokes\” like these are absolutely NOT acceptable. The pain of this history and their continuing significance and repercussions for black people, and indeed for all of us, are very real. Who are you to make light of that pain? For the Obamas, and many other families like them, the pain of those experiences is so great that they could barely even speak of that time and what it had done to their family. You need to put yourself in their shoes. As someone in the public eye, the words you say are twice as loud and can be twice as harmful.