When I schedule events in bookstores, I try not to limit myself to sitting behind a table waiting to pounce on passersby and ask them to buy my book. That always seems like a recipe for social awkwardness, so I like to give a talk. It helps to entertain the crowds and gives me something to do other than point out where the bathroom is or help a customer find Stacy Schiff’s latest biography.

Given that my limited expertise is related to completely trivial information about people who have been dead for thousands of years, coming up with an interesting talk was a challenge. However, one of my favorites is called Bad Girls of the Ancient World. It’s a great lecture to give in promoting Lily of the Nile, because my heroine, Cleopatra Selene, happens to be related to a startling number of history’s Girls Gone Wild.

However, as a recent bookstore manager reminded me, Barnes & Noble is a family establishment. To that end, I began to worry about my handouts which include the obligatory half-naked painting of Cleopatra VII of Egypt and a somewhat racier depiction of the seduction of Olympias.

Now, some of my friends have tried to convince me that what I’m looking at in this painting is actually a foot, but having counted up the various limbs involved in this sexual tryst, I’m not sure that I agree. So, I submit the matter to my mature readers to decide. Does that look like a foot on her knee or is he happy to see her?

Hence, my dilemma.

Option #1 involved cropping off the offending foot, which rather diminishes the intensity of the artistic rendition. Or…option #2…

The not so proverbial fig leaf.

And since this talk is as much about feminism and equal opportunity as it is about ancient history, perhaps I should go with this…

It starts to get a bit silly, doesn’t it? And I admit to being obnoxed by the idea that famous paintings might not be considered family friendly or safe for young women to view. I’m sure Augustus would have agreed and that, in itself, makes me feel rebellious.

What do you think?

I’ll be signing books at Borders in the Annapolis Mall on November 6th from 2pm-4pm this weekend. Please come out to see me. Signings are one of the few times I’m actually free from the chains of my desk, and I will totally take you out for cocoa or pumpkin spice latte after the signing if you show up to hang out with me!

Also, you get this voucher to use in order to do charitable giving along with your shopping.

Alongside these wonderful authors, I will be doing a reading from Lily of the Nile at the Library of Congress. Here’s all the information, and I hope to see you there!